And there’s always this silly game that we play,

with silent I miss you’s but no words to say.

We talk til the end but our mouths do not move,

our hands cannot touch to help us to sooth.

There is never a good time, in this big world of ours,

to love. to breathe. it’s always to far.

I love you through vision, and vision alone,

There will never be a time that I know you are my own.

I don’t know your touch, your smell or your taste,

I feel it’s enough, though it’s time, we have paced.

So take all my words and make what you wish.

In the sea of my mind, you can be the fish.

I wonder if you miss me. I wonder if you think of me from time to time.

I wonder if you hear that song and know that I was yours as you were mine.

I can’t say that I think of you often.

But that would be a lie.

I feel I think of you quite frequently.

I can see it in the sky.

I wonder if you hear a quote, a word, a book.

I wonder if you see a picture, a glance, a look.

If you think back to when we used to be.

If you think back and know all there was for you was me.

And even now I want to hold your hand.

I want your body.

In bed.

In the grass.

In the sand.

I guess I just wonder.

If you miss me sometimes as I do you.

Made another dress today.

Before - after.

I’m sitting here, at 5:00am, smoking my cigarette. It’s still dark out but I know the sun will be warming up my skin so soon. I know that the world will once again awaken to live a new day. I always think about that saying ‘the sun will always rise’, because.. From what we know, it certainly has. Just a curious thing. Assumptions. We assume it will rise. We assume that today is tomorrow’s yesterday. We live our lives so full of refrain, so full of neglectfulness and detachment to the world.

I try to live every day with so much love. I try to love everyone I see, to care for everyone I know, to be who everyone needs me to be. Of course it’s hard, and I don’t think anyone can do that every day. I have small amounts of hate and anger in my soul that comes out. Jealousy. Sadness followed by tears. I have it all. But I so very much dislike ‘hurt’. Hurt is something to me that, in an emotional way, someone does to someone else and I just wish it was so avoidable. I know, for the utmost reasoning that not everything can be wonderful. Not every day can be happy, not every face will have a smile, but I wish whole-heartedly that it could.

I love. I love so easily. Not just people. I love everything. I love waking up knowing someone will be there to talk to me. I love the smell of the world after it rains. The way the rays of the sun come through my window in the morning. The care-free kids that will one day grow old and also know the meaning of love for the world. I love so much. I care about people. You know, it’s sad sometimes because I feel that I just have so much love to share but not one significant person to share it with. People pick and prod to find my flaws, or maybe they’re just as easily written on my face, but they do.

It shouldn’t be this demanding of a person for someone else to just stop, call, visit, say to someone else ‘you’re just beautiful’. I want someone to share that with. Someone to look at, and smile. Knowing that they arn’t looking into my soul in a way of negativity.

Sorry for the early morning rant/discussion?

Myyyy baby